Lighthouse Love

As anyone who has been involved with Lighthouse International Group for a while knows you are highly encouraged to believe that you are not just a client / mentee you are “building your lives together” with LIG. I heard this a lot from Kris Deichler between 2013 to 18 when he was my mentor.

However as I explain in detail on this page > coinciding with me no longer putting money into Kris’ bank account, not purchasing any of the “investment opportunities” he was repeatedly pitching so making it clear that my path did not include joining Lighthouse International Group as an “Associate Partner” and joining their multi-level marketing plan to business growth the “love” and “I see you like my little brother” talk both vanished.

I am also not the only ex-mentee to have experienced this…

Other Lighthouse Leavers

Just a few months after I left the Lighthouse International Group world in December 2018 two now good friends left as well. The first had a handful of 121 mentoring sessions and felt the focus was to broad and so ended them. The second had been a mentee of a senior mentor at Lighthouse for many, many years. His brother and a number of his friends had also been mentored by him.

My friend had also been pitched the same £5,000 “Discipline Course” that I had been offered time and again in 2018. The said course was supposed to take you from so-so productive to almost superhuman levels. It was described by Kris Deichler to me as on par with having an alchemy machine (turning metal into gold) and just as good as a degree from a prestigious University.

However the most basic information such as: what modules will be covered, how longs it for, how is it delivered, what results are truly realistic, are their any guarantees, how can such bold assertions be made if this is the first time its been offered? etc were all questions that were either ignored or deflected with me being encouraged to almost mentally & emotionally masturbate about the person I could become by the end of the course. It was wrong to focus on the “details” I was told.

“Investing” £5,000

Due to rule 101 of investing (understand what you’re investing in) I decided not to wire over the non-refundable £5,000 for the course. It wasn’t a no, I was just waiting for the first set of candidates really did have the life changing transformation that was assured.

I was advised this was an unwise idea as the course was going to be soooo powerful and popular that Lighthouse were looking to charge each individual £10,000 or more when they ran it again. I had severe doubts about that and saw it more as a high pressure sales technique. Time seems to have proven that to be the case.

Whilst I didnt proceed with the course my friend did. He wired the £5,000 on the trust / assurance of his mentor that this would be a wise investment and that the course will transform his mindset, levels of energy, focus and productivity making him a highly disciplined individual in all areas of life.

When it finally started my friend told me he soon got the impression a lot more time, energy and focus had been put into the selling of the course than the substance and delivery of it.

Saying that on multiple occasions it started, stopped, started, stopped because those participating “were not in the right place” that included mindset and completing of their homework. It was the participants fault rather then the content of the course, delivery of it and support around it he was told.

Stepping Back

After the 3rd or 4th pause he’d had enough and lost faith in the programme. He decided to step back not just from the course but from 121 mentoring as well and requested some space.

After a few weeks he received a message from his mentor stating “there are two in this relationship” and expressing disappointment that he had not been in touch. He interpreted it as an attempt to guilt trip him and it was a message he’d expect from a stroppy teenager not a mature adult.

His mentor then stated that he would like to send him some questions to think over however he never sent them. My friend stated “that over the many years of mentoring this is the first time he never followed through“.  This was the last time he has ever heard from his former mentor.

He went onto tell me that both his brother and a number of friends who received mentoring who like myself all found the 121 sessions HUGELY helpful and valuable but they struggled to keep taking the bred crumbs that were subtly being laid to encourage them to purchase courses and become a mentor / LIG Associate themselves. So eventually they all stepped back from mentoring.

No Contact & No Refund

For those who have read about my big uphill struggle trying to secure a refund for mentoring and a seminar that I never received from Lighthouse mentor Kris Deichler (details >) it may not surprise you to hear that my friend did not receive a £5,000 refund on the course he’d never started or at best it could be said he did 10% of the programme.

He was surely legally and morally entitled to at least £4,500 of his funds back. To confirm this was an online course and so there were no hard costs such as premises or external experts/coaches and so a refund was more then possible.

Dating to Discarded

Another former Lighthouse mentee explains his story here > in summary he was in a romantic relationship with a LIG mentor and felt that the sessions were not in his best interest and that they were distancing him from his friends and family.

He also felt pressured into paying for the next block of mentoring even when he says he made it clear to his mentor he had financial issues. In his 2nd comment he states that after withdrawing from LIG / £50 per hour mentoring his ex-girlfriend “wanted nothing to do with me after that“. Although he is still concerned for her (details >)

Former Associates

There is also a lack of apparent “love” for former associates when they step back as shown in the Reddit here > from close day to day contact to having all interest in them lost.

One presumably “loving” LIG technique is to try and get some former partners sacked from their job. Details…

Lighthouse Love

I am no expert on love but what I do know is that there is unconditional love such as a mother loving a child regardless of what they do even if there are acts of extreme violence or depravity and then there is conditional love. Common in many superficial friendships and romantic relationships: You keep being this person and in exchange I’ll “love” you in exchange.

However as we hear about all the time in superficial relationships they easily break down when i.e. x person loses their wealth, one loses their contacts or status, one isn’t in such a great physical shape anymore, one wants to take a path in life the other does not agree with ++.

My interpretation of the stories outlined above and my own story of how my 6yr relationship with Kris Deichler broke down (find it here >) where it went from daily contact and regular sharing of thought provoking articles, inspirational quotes and speak of “building our lives together” and “loving me like a little brother” to my last phone call / meeting with Kris being in Summer 2019 is that the substance of our relationship and that of the others mentioned was in reality just a commercial one.


I am not trying to say there is anything whatsoever cynical or evil about x business treating you like a VIP and being in touch regularly whilst you give them money and then all that stopping when you no longer pay. It’s how almost every business in the world works (including my own company).

Relationships are transactional for the most part. Even office sharing space such as WeWork who boast “we’re all one family” would admit that as soon as tenants stop paying their rent they’re not part of the “family” anymore Instead the guys who took your desks are.

What I take issue with is LIG repeatedly stating that this is NOT how they operate. It’s all about building deep, meaningful relationships (“building our lives together“) and the sale/money means very little. When in reality, based on the above stories including my own the “love”, does seem conditional to you giving them cash and/or eventually becoming an LIG mentor/associate.

Absent Love

Whilst I’ve made a big reference to the % decrease of communication when I stepped back from mentoring it wasn’t just the quantity that showed to me it was conditional love.

It was the fact that responses to my text messages and emails went from same day to an average of 4-5 weeks. There were also no more happy birthday and merry Christmas wishes, general check-ins and no “are you and the family ok, do you need anything?” at the start of the worst pandemic in our life time.

Furthermore in my case because Kris Deichler considered me mentally ill, so how come he did not respond when I made it clear I would like his assistance to deal with my “pathology“?. Instead I didn’t even response to my email.

As I have said elsewhere, if you had a “little brother” who you really thought was mentally ill wouldn’t you do anything and everything you could to help him? Any loving sibling would go through hell and high water to do so. Yet not my “loving” big brother.